-The folowing review of "Darkness Falls" was written by the editor of RANT Magazine
Darkness Falls
One of the all-time worst movies ever.
The only thing that wasn't guessable and cliche' in this film was the scene during the power failure when they temporarily elude the monster that's chasing after them by running into the elevator.
How is it the elevator is working in the middle of a power failure? I was busy trying to figure out why I was still sitting in the movie theatre at this point so I'm not the one to ask.
But they pressed the elevator call button and it lit up and worked. As our heros sped away to the lobby, the monster was left scratching his head, as was the audience.
Not to worry, the monster soon enters the elevator shaft and comes after them.
I commented to my companion, "Power failure be damned! They shot this scene and then were damned if they were going to leave it out!"
Keep in mind, the entire premise of the film was that the monster would not attack you in the light. Someone should have told the creature about this caveat however, because it didn't appear to make any difference. For example, during a car crash, the monster doesn't attack the person in the dark car, even though there are no windows left, instead it attacks the guy in the headlights in front of the car. He happened to be an attorney, so that part, at least, made a little sense.
The folowing review of "Full Frontal" was written by the editor of RANT Magazine.
Full Frontal
What?
I have no idea what this movie was about. All I know is that at some point even the movie isn't sure if its in the movie.
-The folowing review of "Ghosts Of Mars" was written by the editor of RANT Magazine.
Ghosts Of Mars
Do you watch The Simpsons? Well this is "Itchy and Scratchy" with humans. Light your cigarette with a $20.00 bill, it's the same value for your entertainment dollar.
-The folowing review of "The Others " was written by the editor of RANT Magazine.
The Others
It's 3 in the morning, I just got back from seeing the movie "The Others".
Do yourself a favor if you see this film; don't turn off the cell phone, and if you're lucky enough to get a call...answer it.
Even the people sitting next to you will gleefully welcome any other dialog than what they're hearing on the screen.
This movie is a ghost story with a twist, the twist is that the entire plot takes place in ten minutes, unfortunately the last ten minutes of the film. Seventy minutes into the film, my female friend sitting next to me asked, "Has anything happened yet?"
This is a good film to see after a hard day at work because you can sleep through any of it and not miss anything. Want a soda? Popcorn? Need to go to the bathroom? Take your time, it'll be here when you get back, and in the same place.
Get a haircut if you want.
I didn't hate this film. I found myself wondering how I could have made God so mad at me though.
If you rent this on tape, you won't last through it, so try to see it in a theatre.
-The folowing review of "Tattoo: A Love Story"
was contributed by Necie
for RANT Magazine
“Tattoo:
A Love Story”
(Review #1)
Director: Richard Bean | Writers: Richard Bean and
Gregg Sacon | Producer: Stephen Davies | Starring: Megan Edwards, Virgil
Miqnanelli and Benjamin Burdick.
Ever wonder how you can get a "Love Story" from a "Tattoo"?
Last night, I found out.
Somewhere, in Boise, Idaho, there exists a beautiful woman who has complete and total control over her life. She has a job she enjoys; the man of her dreams and the best family and friends money can't buy. What could possibly be wrong? There's absolutely NOTHING missing from her world until one of her students presents his "Show and Tell" project.
Virgil, a tattoo artist quietly and proudly introducing the fine art of Tattooing to Sarah's 3rd grade class. With a happy smile, a magic marker and a room full of inquisitive children, Virgil starts the whirlwind reaction that will jar Sarah out of her happy little existence and make her examine her world closely.
In the span of 2 hours, you watch a cold, controlling and closed woman learn to let go and enjoy life. Virgil is not your run of the mill film hero or leading man. On the surface, a large, intimidating tattooed biker complete with confidence and Harley. Little do you expect the spirituality and depth of a romantic.
Normally, given this premise, you'd watch two people on the screen and even though you know its make believe, you just can't suspend disbelief enough to enjoy the experience. This film WAS believable. That's no small accomplishment, especially given the unlikely pairing of these characters.
In this day and age, if something isn't getting blown to smithereens or hacking people into little-bitty pieces while muttering catch phrases, you find your attention span wandering. With multi-million dollar budgets and seasoned academy award winning stars, you still catch yourself surreptitiously checking your watch and wondering just where your date will take you to dinner or what outfit you'll wear tomorrow.
This film was utterly enchanting. The chemistry between the entire cast made me forget that I was sitting in a movie theater and watching make believe.The ending was so realistic (and unexpected) that, as the credits rolled and the lights came up, I found myself wondering what happened to everyone. Well-placed words, a believable story line and realistic characters.
Maybe its time we took Hollywood by the lapels and shook it awake.
-The preceding review was contributed by Necie for RANT Magazine
-The
folowing review of "Tattoo:
A Love Story" was
written by the editor of RANT Magazine
“Tattoo: A Love Story”
(Review #2)
Director: Richard Bean | Writers: Richard Bean and
Gregg Sacon | Producer: Stephen Davies | Starring: Megan Edwards, Virgil
Miqnanelli and Benjamin Burdick.
I fully expect to see “Tattoo: A Love Story” as a motion picture hit once this film is released.
Not since “Like Water For Chocolate” have I so throughly enjoyed a “date” film. Finally, someone's made a non-sappy chick flick.
Men, you won't be humiliated, intimidated or bored by your onscreen male counterpart.
For a change, the male isn't clueless, heartless, cool, arrogant or pretty. This film screams of independent creative writing. You'll know Hollywood had nothing to do with this production. How refreshing!
Men will note how the ending captures the accurate depiction of a terrible, but real-to-life, feminine "solution".
-RANT
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