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Last update just minutes ago: Fri Jul 03rd 2009, 10:03 pm - Breaking News Impacting YOU
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RANT Magazine

RANT® Magazine
May 2009 Issue
RANT - Est. 1995
In Internet time, we're senior citizens
(without health coverage)
  Table of Contents -
My God, Breaking News stories, MP3's, Video, The RANTboard BBS, Cartoons, In-Depth Commentary and Humor...there's so much to do here, why would you go anywhere else on the Internet?

Must-See Places to go on RANT®
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This is RANT®
May 2009

Welcome to RANT Magazine®. We want to hear from you, drop us a quick note, tell us how you got here, when you stopped by, and what you took while we were in the bathroom.


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In a 1961 lecture, Aldous Huxley described a police state as “the final revolution”:
a “dictatorship without tears [where people] love their servitude.” The goal is to produce “a kind of painless concentration camp for entire societies so that people will, in fact, have their liberties taken away...
but...will be distracted from any desire to rebel by propaganda or brainwashing ... enhanced by pharmacological methods.” Zoloft anyone?
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Breaking News: Jobless numbers released Friday even worse than Thursday's miserable numbers causing tremors in the stock market.

Original claims were revised bringing the total of unemployed in the U.S. to a number so high even the illegal aliens are leaving.
Beyond The  
Peripheral Vision™

Rachel Maddow

From the Rant Newsroom
located in New York City

Breaking News: What's New? Dress Codes.

Next time you're in the supermarket, have them scan your tee-shirt. These are the actual barcodes for the words displayed below them. Available exclusively through RANT Magazine.

"Dress Codes" Fashion Bar Code.

Want to design your own? We'll put your saying in a barcode at no extra charge! Send an email to:

Breaking News: You may have noticed the addition of the word "News" to our masthead "Satire, Reasoning, Rhetoric". If FOX can use the word, so can we.

Breaking News: GOP Rebranding Czar number 9, Dick Cheney, ventured out of his undisclosed location again today to join the push to rebrand the Republican Party. Changing the sales pitch without improvement to the product.

When questioned, Cheney said, “Hey, it worked for us in the past. There's no reason to believe the American people are any smarter today.” He then saw his shadow and retreated into the hole he had dug during the interview.

Breaking News: First ChoicePoint, then LexisNexis, and now the entire Internal Revenue Service - What do they all have in common? They've all got your personal information splattered into the streets.

The IRS admitted today that their computer system is wide open with password lists "widely available" according to a report issued by the Government Accountability Office. (See more on ChoicePoint and identity theft below.)

Breaking News: Sex with your credit card? Unknowingly many Visa and Mastercard card holders in good standing are being sodomized by interest rates of 36.99%. Taking advantage of the weakened consumer protection laws of the last 7 years, many credit card issuers default interest rate is "Prime Rate plus 29.99% for their customers in good standing that keep a balance on their cards. Nice huh? Check your statements and don't drop the soap near a banking institution! What's that? You don't get involved in politics?

Breaking News: There's news from the University of Minnesota that 43 men have gone blind from Viagra use which caused a "stroke of the eye". Pfizer spokespeople have issued a statement that this is "just a coincidence". Beavis spokespeople issued a statement that the choice of the word "stroke" while discussing Viagra was no coincidence.

OH and TIVO, the company that sold you on "commercial free TV" now has pop-up ads. Yes. Pop-up ads now on your TV. This is so ironic that RANT didn't even have to remake the Tivo slogan! That's the real one. Apparently Satan wasn't using that slogan anymore and it was up for grabs.

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RANTology
(Selected Historical RANTs)
 
 
Valentines Day
(The Real Story)

Your Ad Could be Here For Less Then the Cost of a Starbucks Coffee house
Rant Visits the UK
(Its Like “I Love Lucy” in 3D)
Cat !
(The Other White Meat)
NY Everything You Know is Wrong New York City
(Everything You've Heard Is Wrong)
working out Working Out
(What Is This, Some Sort Of Cult?)
Dental Hygienists Dental Hygienists
(Note How Women Are Attracted To This Position)
Ki Master Extreme Sports
(Finally!  Penis Weightlifting)
California Dreaming California Dreaming?
(More Like A Nightmare)
Skunks Remain CALM!
(The Skunks Can Smell Your Fear)
Traffic School I Was Only Going the Speed of the Traffic (The Air Traffic)
deoderant How Do You Interview People
(for THIS job?)
Rant Notebooks
RANT Journal
NEW RANT Products!
Visa They're Everywhere You Want To Be
(Just Not At The Same Time)		  
God There must be a God.
(Otherwise These People Would Be Flipping Burgers)		  
 
duPont John duPont
(Quick! Act as if Nothing Has Happened!)
Chia Chia THIS!
(Is This Thing Animal or Vegetable?)
TV DinnersMarie Callender is pretty cool
(But Then, I'm A Pushover For A Girl With A Pretty Plate)
SnappleThe Snapple Woman
(Do Not Adjust Your Mind, The Fault Is With Reality)
Disclaimer
(“I Was Looking At Her Pendant!”)		  
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(If you get arrested, ask them to shroud your face with this high-quality tee!)
 
 
 
 
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